How do you want to be remembered? Perhaps there is a story from your life or career that exemplifies your work ethic and perseverance. Maybe you have a few pieces of advice that you wish you could pass on to your grandchildren or nieces and nephews, or a tradition you hope stays with your family for future generations. If there is a particular legacy you want to leave behind or a set of values you want to leave to the communities you love, you may be interested in exploring an ethical will.

The earliest example of an ethical will is found in the Bible. In the second to last chapter of the book of Genesis, Jacob offers a set of ethical and practical instructions as his last words to his sons:

"I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite." (Genesis 49:29-32)

Later in the Bible, several figures, including Moses and David, follow suit, giving direction and imparting values in their last moments of life to those who will come after them. The second to last chapter of Deuteronomy features Moses blessing each of the tribes of Israel in specific detail, and, in some cases, prophetically bestowing their inheritances.

Likewise, King David leaves his son Solomon instructions for when he is gone: "I am about to go the way of all the earth, so be strong, act like a man and observe what the Lord your God requires . . ." He requests that Solomon "deal" with those who have done him wrong, but also to "show kindness to the sons of Barzillai of Gilead and let them be among those who eat at your table. They stood by me when I fled from your brother Absolom." (1 Kings 2:2-7)

While the ethical will has Judeo-Christian roots, its use has broadened in recent years. You may have heard of "legacy letters" or "spiritual wills." Both of these terms refer to the general concept of the ethical will, but offer language that might fit you more comfortably.

There are a variety of purposes for an ethical will. Whatever intentions you set when you write it will shape what you choose to include in it. An ethical will can help you communicate your values and beliefs to your loved ones, offer wisdom to those who will come after you, and define the terms in which you will be remembered. The will can even be a space to express gratitude, forgiveness, or an apology. There are many ways you can shape an ethical will to express what you want to say to the people you care about.

Some people prefer to write the will as a letter, others as a group of stories similar to a memoir, and others opt to write a list of lessons and/or instructions for future generations. Because the ethical will is intended to help you communicate your values, its exact form is easily personalized.

If you are interested starting your own ethical will, here are a few questions to ponder:

-- Who were some of the most impactful figures in your life?

-- If you were starting your career over again, would you go into the same profession?

-- If you were married, what were some of the most important things you learned about marriage?

-- If you had children, what are some of the most important things you learned about parenting?

-- What does success mean to you?

-- What experience do you believe everyone should have?

-- What is a mistake you made that you hope future generations will avoid?

-- Is there anything you wish you had said to someone or would like to tell them now?

Interested in learning more about ethical wills or starting your own? On Sunday, Feb. 2, at 2 p.m., Youville Place Assisted Living will host an introductory workshop in Lexington, presented by Bob Halperin. This program is free and open to the public. For more information or to RSVP, contact Kathleen Kelleher at 781-861-3535 or email kkelleher@youvilleplace.org.

SIANNA CASEY INTERNED AT YOUVILLE ASSISTED LIVING IN THE FALL OF 2019 WHILE PURSUING HER MASTER'S IN DIVINITY AT HARVARD UNIVERSITY.