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The real back-to-school essential

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Success in school on the athletic field or stage, being the perfect parent or teacher, does not matter without love.

Michael
Reardon

Across the nation, schools are back in session or soon will be. Fields and classrooms are animated by the sounds and activities of students returning to a new year. Some students will be excited; others will be anxious. When I worked in schools, on the first day, I would remind people to get out and be present because the first day only happens once a year. This statement resulted in some good-natured mocking at my command of the obvious!
There are a few less obvious things about the start of the year. First, the idea that the school has been at rest all summer is a myth. Throughout the summer months, custodians, IT staff, principals, teachers, and many others have been preparing for another school year. Some have been preparing the facilities and materials, some through professional development, and others through staffing and curricular changes. The summer is not a restful period for these professionals. In fact, it is a race to the start of the school year!

The second, less obvious, thing about the start of the school year is that it is not always seen as a fresh start. Some students arrive anxious that the same social order will prevail or that physical changes, time away from friends, or changing friend groups will signal the end of life as they know it. Some may be fearful of the big project or assignment anticipated as a rite of passage for the next grade level. School is their world; each issue is a seemingly small item to a well-passed- school-age adult, but to a student, this can be all-consuming.
For parents, too, there is anxiety about how to best guide their child through these moments. How much is too much parenting? How much is too little? I think most parents would agree that it is a struggle, and for those who claim to have figured it out, be wary! There is no one-size-fits-all. Each child is different, each parental relationship is different, and each school is different.
Having worked in and around schools for over 25 years, I have observed that it is the students and parents who have it "figured out" that tend to end up having the most challenges in the end. It is ok to struggle; it is ok to question, and it is ok to be unsure. Sounds a bit like my faith life!
It is at this time of the year that I reflect on St. Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, specifically Chapter 13, where he speaks of the importance of love. This chapter begins by laying out that neither the ability to speak in tongues, nor the gifts of prophecy, knowledge, or faith, nor even self-sacrifice is truly meaningful without love. In modern translation, intent matters!
In Catholic schools, as students return, they are met with love. This is the difference in Catholic schools. In all the messiness of our world and the anxiety of the start of the school year, students are seen as individuals worthy of love. Although there is no single answer on how to parent or approach the school year, I would suggest that, as Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians, without love "I am a resounding gong," "I am nothing," and "I gain nothing." On the contrary, love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Success in school on the athletic field or stage, being the perfect parent or teacher, does not matter without love.
May this school year be one bound by love, meeting students and teachers where they are and walking with them the best we can. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to challenges, but there is one approach St. Paul challenges us to take -- love!

- Michael B. Reardon is executive director of the Catholic Schools Foundation, www.CSFBoston.org.



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